Hello brotherfuckers,
I wanted to make a post to explain what’s been going on with me.
Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been absent on and off over the past couple of years. This is because I’ve been dealing with long-term back to back repeated illness.
For several years, I was living in a dilapidated shithole house that I couldn’t afford to leave. Moldy, drafty, freezing cold, dusty, uninsulated, etc.
This had a serious impact on my health. For the past 3 years, I’ve spent more time unwell than I did well. On top of that, I’ve also had real-life responsibilities that I needed to prioritise.
I moved at the end of last year, and while my health improved somewhat, I’m still getting sick and I don’t know why.
It’s been really discouraging. I might not be terminally ill, but I know that under better circumstances I’m capable of doing much more than I am right now. It’s incredibly frustrating not being able to work at that pace anymore.
Because of this, I don’t have a reliable timeline for anything I’m creating. I never know when I’ll be well enough to take care of myself on any given day, let alone work on my art. I want to keep working on my comics, but progress is going to be much slower than I originally hoped, and there may be long gaps between updates.
At the moment, I don’t have clear answers about what’s causing all of this or how long it will take to figure out. I’m hoping that seeing a doctor will help, but I don’t have any guarantees yet.
It’s scary not knowing what will come of me. I’m trying to give myself space to slow down while I work out my health problems but it’s difficult. I don’t have much support in real life, so ultimately everything I put off must eventually be done by me (or my beauteous boyfriend) anyway.
Making porn makes me so happy. It’s what gives me a sense of purpose. It’s hard to put that aside to ‘rest’ when resting just means being nauseous, pained, and bored. Back to back illness makes the boredom even more unbearable. I don’t have the energy to stay in touch with anyone and my current house, while much better than my previous house, gets no direct sunlight, so I’ve been pretty depressed dealing with all this.
All I can do is wait and hope that my health improves or that doctors can help me. I’m trying to keep up my morale and part of that is opening up about what’s been happening with me.
I appreciate all the support I get on my art. It makes me so happy to know people love what I make as much as I do.
If you want to see the comic I’ve been working on for the past couple months, there’s behind-the-scenes stuff on my SubscribeStar. I still think it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever made and it’s not even done yet.
This year might be another slow one for me. I’m coming to terms with it. Thank you for being patient with me :3